Emily Yang (11) | STAFF REPORTER
Wake up at the crack of dawn to the irritating sound of an alarm. Brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed. Evaluate. How am I feeling? Who do I want to be today? The answer is almost always the same. Put on the foreign yet familiar veil of someone bright and bubbly. Avoid mirrors at all costs.
Greet my parents. Accept the love they offer, knowing it won’t hit me very deep. Arrive at school. Walk around, notice the hustle and bustle, exercise hyper observance. Sit with my friends. Say hello to other people I don’t particularly care about. God knows they couldn’t care less about me. Smile when being asked how I am, and respond with a cheerful “Good, how are you?”. Wonder if they really are “Good!”.
Demand why I can’t be like everyone else.“Why can’t I appreciate what I have? Why am I never enough for myself?” Drown in guilt.
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My veil protects me. It may compromise my ability to feel the good, but it certainly shields me from the bad. With a poke and prod from the right person, my veil begins to slip. I begin to pour outwards. More and more comes off. Pressure starts to release. Swirls of colourful emotions flood around me. They stay if they don’t mind getting their clothing stained. Otherwise, I’d be left to swim in the mess that they caused. On my own.
Hope that I get it together before the onset of the next day.
