Chances are if you’re a living, conscious teenager, you’re familiar with the hit CW television series The Vampire Diaries. The show revolves around a teenage girl wedged in a love triangle (as in most YA fictional media) who is doomed to the perpetual dilemma of choosing between her two love interests. As always, the two boys who vie for her affection provide stark contrast to each other, with the compassionate, sensitive younger brother and the cold-hearted “bad boy” who unintentionally captures her eye.
Predictably, neighbourhood unfriendly vampire Damon Salvatore with his dashing good looks enthralled the hearts of many impressionable adolescent girls. The idea of Damon, and the show’s heroine, Elena Gilbert, being together was a notion too exciting to fathom and as more seasons followed, the fans were rewarded with a relationship on behalf of the show’s honorary couple. Unfortunately, this union only bred implicating evidence to why it’s a bad idea to link attractive people to toxic relationships on TV.
When Damon first meets Elena who is with his brother, he discovers an immediate attraction to her, not due to pure fondness but because she bears an exact resemblance to his former love. At one point, he forces himself on her and when she rejects his advances, he snaps her younger brother’s neck without hesitation. A trail of events transpires of the same likeness which culminates in Damon and Elena beginning a romance. The initial happiness is short-lived as their relationship is charged with mental abuse, codependency, and toxicity. However, being swept up with their tumultuous romance, supporters ended up justifying immoral actions and dismissing questionable behavior.
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The problem is that the show glorifies Damon and Elena as a pair, where literal villainy becomes mistaken with his “bad boy” aspect. The line is already blurred under the premise of a vampire television show but when you add a smouldering, handsome actor to the mix, young fans are unable to discern a healthy relationship from an abusive one. They watch Damon mistreating Elena on television but no red flags go off. When fans begin to deem this dynamic acceptable, we move into a territory where love makes all relationships okay and if you happen to date someone as beautiful as Damon, it’s your job to cater to their needs. This concept of all-consuming codependent love has been one all too cherished in this day and age namely in large popularization of entertainment that praises passion and depth where an unhealthy love exists. Novels such as 50 Shades of Gray and Twilight feature a couple so deeply in love that they cannot function without their partner and a possessive attitude that seeks to completely control the other person. In extreme circumstances (and quite unsurprisingly found in all three examples), one may even resort to endangering themselves or letting their partner hurt them to stay in their good graces.
Naturally, it becomes embedded into the mind of our generation that this is what we should look for in a romance; this is the picture-perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. Unfortunately, this same ideology that plagues our mindset is a significant contributor to the current number of 120 million sexual assault cases reported by women internationally. Celebrating poorly conceptualized relationships is dangerous and the proof couldn’t be more obvious. Only when the writers for television, movies, books, and general mass media can stop justifying abuse will our youth be able to grow up and understand the full breadth of a regular healthy relationship. Strip away the appeal of beautiful vampires and romanticized violence and suddenly these relationships are not nearly as glamorous in real life as on TV.
