Maggie Huang (9) | STAFF REPORTER
“We are not the same.”
I’m a therapist traumatized by my own childhood. In my experience, people who don’t come from abusive, dysfunctional, or traumatic childhoods don’t even entertain this issue. But to those who are coming for help, I would like to tell you a story. I’ve been telling this story for years. When a breath was taken, I’d begin;
“A long time ago during the war, there was a young hero by the name of Alivo Keir. He was a handsome fellow with long golden hair and a lean figure. He led his country to victory in every battle and was knighted as a general of a great army. But as his greed for power began to grow, his actions created more and more battles, resulting in more victories, and ultimately, the deaths of 40 million people.
Nobody cared then, but the general had stopped fighting for justice, and rather for his own authority. His soldiers no longer join his army to become heroes the way the legends did, but to follow in his footsteps to become ‘influentially important’ like him. When the men had nothing left to lose, they all looked to the dark side.
And the dark side looked back.
We, his family, were the only ones who saw the monster he had become and the devastation he had brought to his country. Soon, stories about Keir’s ancestry began sprouting rumors in the public and we were shoved into the spotlight as the most wretched family in the century.”
Suddenly, I was seen as the next tragedy of the country. It made me sad. I was seven.
“Bonded by blood, we were also seen as the same devil that destroyed lives around the world. We were bonded by blood, but nothing else. Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this. It’s like the horror of seeing the same traits in yourself as the person you swore not to become.
Yet I persisted to think that I was different from my great-grandfather. Unlike him, I’d rather carry food aid than a gun and build communities up than destroy what generations have built. Unlike him, I’d needed to show the world that not all of us were destined to be bad.
Maybe my great-grandfather was the villain in his story, but I will be the hero in mine.
On the thirteenth of May 1935, our family came together in a small cabin during the night. We didn’t sign a pact, or engage in any sort of covenant. We quietly talked about the burden we had in the background of our lives and how our children would live in a world where they were hated. In the end, we decided that none of us would marry, and none of us would have children, terminating the family bloodline right then and there.”
I was only a kid then. I was a kid. But I wasn’t clueless.
Some children are just born with trauma in their blood.
So I tell this to every client who was in–or is still in abusive situations: You weren’t supposed to be stronger, you were supposed to be safe. And that anger is proof that you know you deserved better.
